I recently led a workshop for a group of high school Peer Educators on the subject of body-image and eating disorders. At the end, the Faculty Advisor, asked me to share my ingredients for having confidence.
1 Lifetime of Loving Yourself
1/2 Tablespoon of Health Imitation
3 Cups of Zest
1/4 Teaspoon of Style
1/2 Tablespoon of Healthy Imitation
1) It’s human to compare yourself to others… but think critically about WHO you want to compare yourself to: Who do you find beautiful in whatever way you define beauty? Who do you find interesting and inspiring? Who do you want to emulate?
These questions can also be a technique for combating anxiety in social situations. You can think of that person who you admire, and imagine how she/he would react in the same situation. Channel their energy, and you will feel more confident navigating whatever struggle you’re working through.This example is an incredible story of a mother who raised her daughter to do just this!
3 Cups of Zest
2) Find your passion. When you can connect what you care about with what you dedicate your time to by aligning your heart and your actions, you exude confidence.
In the past 4 months since I started my coaching business, I’ve transformed into a more confident person. I experience gatherings with family and friends with a newfound zest. My public speaking skills have dramatically improved. I feel happier and more excited about my future than ever. I’ve noticed that I’ve been taking more risks and putting myself out there more on social media. As a result, I’m connecting with more people who are excited to engage with the material I am sharing.
1/4 teaspoon of style
3) Discover your unique style. It takes effort in this world to care about things that aren’t trendy. I couldn’t have said it better than the high school girl who shared this:
“I was talking to one of my guy friends about what kind of style he finds most attractive and he said ‘It doesn’t matter what a girl wears, just if she feels she can pull it off by having confidence.”
In my teens years, I struggled with my body-image and hated to reveal my skin discoloration from the auto immune disease I was diagnosed with at the age of 12. To this day, my skin appears scared, bruised, or dirty. I used to try covering my skin with make up. Other times, I covered myself in sweats and scarves despite the warm weather. It took hard work on learning to love myself and lots of encouragement from others for me to finally embrace how I look and to realize that beauty is equivalent to how I feel about myself.
Confidence isn’t about being trendy or looking like everyone else.
Confidence is how you feel when you look in the mirror and smile.
You are beautiful and any magazine, TV program, or person who makes you feel otherwise has no place in your life.