7. Choice

Today I chose to take a day off because I had a choice. Choice often indicates places where there is privilege welded to people with certain social power depending on your intersecting identities. I have had a lot of choices in regards to BIG things in my life, for example related to my education, job/profession, housing.

On a smaller scale, in the little moments throughout the day, I chose myself and asked “What do I need right now?” The practice gets easier as you do it. I needed to cancel plans all the way in August, over a month from now. It’s interesting how putting your needs first can give others permission to do the same.

Dr. Thema is presenting at my graduate school’s annual conference this weekend and I wish I could be there. I have a choice and I’m choosing not to go.

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I choose to interpret this quote to reflect on my love for myself as well as others. A quote I chose to share with my parents on their anniversary last week was: “To love well is the task in all meaningful relationships, not just romantic bonds.” Bell Hooks#allaboutlovebookIMG-3204

Yesterday I had another challenging meeting. It’s hard to say it was a choice, but I chose to stay grounded in what mattered and what I value and through practicing self-compassion and vulnerability I was a much better communicator. I choose to feel proud even though my patterning is to go to shame and self-doubt. “I see you shame! I see you self-doubt, you’re welcome here too-you did well.” #IFSIMG-3205

I chose to take photo of my food because it feels more socially acceptable than taking photos throughout the day. It also helps me savor the moment of gratitude and delight, despite how the media is talking about us ruining every place with our phones! IMG-3209

I snuck this photo during a walk. I’m glad I chose this moment because I LOVE these roses. I realize now I chose to take a photo instead of smell them. I choose not to regret it and will make sure not to let that happen again. If I do, that’s okay, too.

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I chose the coffee Oreo flavor right away. Usually it takes me awhile to make a decision. It  feels good to be decisive for a change! Switch it up. What decisions are easy for you to make? Which ones feel hard?

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I chose to attend a talk at the local meditation center and decided to ask a brave question in front of ~50, mostly strangers. I placed my hand on my heart when it sped up before speaking into the mic, and reminded myself of our common humanity and how many folks in that room would never choose to speak publicly-it’s many people’s worst fear. It really helped my body calm down and I was surprisingly able to laugh during the Q&A encounter. IMG-3239

Very slowly catching up on reading from the course I just finished Monday. Forgiveness is a tough topic, maybe I’ll do 1 page a day to sit with these ideas. So far, I really like how the complexity of such a big topic is written about. IMG-3240

I chose this photo because it’s an important reminder.

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I’ve been thinking about fat phobia more lately. I choose not to engage in conversations about weight. I heard a colleague say folks in the eating disorder industry don’t use the word “weight” anymore either.

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My idea of leading a mindfulness self-compassion group at work is becoming more real every passing week. I chose to bring Victor Frankl’s book on a meditation retreat with me 1 year ago, wow! “Man’s Search for Meaning” did not disappoint. Also, I chose to read on the retreat even though they recommend you do not. img-3244.png

I chose to rest today and let that intention guide my day off. What’s your intention today?  May it guide your choices.

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Thanks for choosing to read this post. I will choose photos wisely today and see if taking photos in public becomes easily and consider why I’m finding it challenging to do more of.

 

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